


Joke Ending -  SCP Foundation and Elfen Lied crossover, meeting Rick and Morty

by JokingReaper



Category: Elfen Lied, Rick and Morty, SCP Foundation
Genre: Do Not Take Seriously, Funny, Hilarious, Other, joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22698115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JokingReaper/pseuds/JokingReaper
Summary: This is a joke ending to my other work of "How to Secure and Contain the Diclonius Virus to Protect Humanity". It's a nonsensical ending where Rick and Morty visit Lucy and Kouta during the meeting with Jack Bright after the cure is developed. Hilarity ensues.(the original version of the original story got accidentally deleted, but it has been re-uploaded)
Relationships: Kouta/Lucy (Elfen Lied), Kouta/Yuka (Elfen Lied)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Joke Ending -  SCP Foundation and Elfen Lied crossover, meeting Rick and Morty

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How to Secure and Contain the Diclonius Virus to Protect Humanity.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24467098) by [JokingReaper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JokingReaper/pseuds/JokingReaper). 



> It's not necessary to read the rest of the story before this one, but if you are curious here it is:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/24467098?view_full_work=true
> 
> Enjoy this my dudes

*Weird Sci-fi noises*

"Alright, *BURP* Morty, here we are." said an old man in a lab coat stepping outside a green ovaloid portal that seemed to be randomly opened in the middle of the street, alongside a young boy with a yellow shirt.

"Oh, Jeez, Rick. Where are we?" asked the boy named Morty.

"In this dimension there is a virus that can create a lot of women with cat-ear-like horns, that are totally sterile."

"What? Seriously? wouldn't that be like the dream of every weeb on Earth"

"Ha. Not quite, there is a trade off, the women also get telekinetical powers and a murderous instinct. Basically your most resentful ex-wife with paranormal superpowers. I already have a sample of the virus."

"Huh? But then why did we come here in the first place?"

"Because in this universe there is also a cure for the virus that renders the infected docile. If I get a sample I can finally have my own cat-ear-girls-harem in a microverse."

"Oh jeez, Rick, that doesn't sound very ethical."

"I know Morty, but this is a *BURP* joke chapter, and the writer had to come up with a ridiculous excuse so that we end up in this place, so just roll with it."

"Alright Rick, I'm with you."

They entered inside Kouta's house, that was technically Yuka's, but he is a complete leech. Dr. Jack Bright was there in the body of his iteration 19 (dark skin and brown eyes, that used to be called Botros, just in case you don't remember), simply because he had a better idea of what to do with Chief Kakuzawa (but we will get to that later). Oh, yeah there were also Nana, Mayu, Kouta, Yuka and Lucy... and for some reason that I'm too lazy to explain also Dr. Alto Clef.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!!! What's up?!" said Rick Sanchez to all the people gathered inside. "Jack Bright, my one man legion! And, speaking of the devil, Alto Clef himself! How have you two been?!"

"Rick Sanchez! You son of a bitch!" said Bright greeting the old man. "I haven't seen you since the last time that SCP-999 went into a hissi fit and almost destroyed the world."

"Yeah. I had to use SCP-2000 to restart humanity." said Clef nonchalantly. "But it's good to see you again, Sanchez."

"Yeah, old interdimensional friends. I understand that you have developed a cure for the..." Rick read a note he had written in his hand "D-Diclon-Hughes Virus, and I would like a sample of it."

"'Diclonius'. It's pronouced 'diclonius'." said Lucy exasperated.

"Whatever. Well, do you have a sample or not?"

"Yeah, we do." said Kouta. "But why should we give it to you? What do we gain?"

"ARG... wait a second..." Rick pulled out a brain scanner and aimed it for a second at every member of the house, and then made his offer. "Alright, according to this the deepest desire of two of the members of this household involve the dead sister and father of this jackhole here (Kouta), and that they wish they hadn't died. Wait here for like ten minutes. Let's go Morty."

*Weird Sci-fi noises*

A portal was opened in the middle of the living room and Rick and Morty went inside and the portal dissapeared. And like clockwork ten minutes passed.

*The same weird Sci-fi noises again*

Another portal was opened, and Rick and Morty reentered the living room alongside two more people. A hunger-games version of a grownup Kanae, and her father, the two people that Kouta missed because Lucy had the great idea of cutting them in pieces without any real reason except *because she kinda felt like it*.

"This two are from an alternate timeline where the pink haired girl (Lucy) killed this jackhole (Kouta) in their first encounter, and went onto infecting as many people as she could, rendering the entire world uninhabitable because it's filled with those pink haired and horned psychos everywhere. I told them that they could come to this universe, where the pink haired psychos are under control, society didn't collapse, and you are still alive."

The hunger-games Kanae took a shotgut from her back and aimed it at Lucy's face. "I think I killed your alternate version last week."

Lucy looked at her and said "I think I killed your alternate versions about eight years ago. Does that makes us even?"

"Meh... I guess so." she said and nonchalantly (I like that word... nonchalantly... sounds elegant) put the shotgun down. "Kouta!" she punched him in the shoulder as her way of showing affection. "Good to see you, man."

"Kanae? Is that really you? My little sister?"

"Of course it's me! You were found chopped in little pieces in my universe about eight years ago. Apparently you saw me getting shredded to pieces on this one. Must have messed you up in the head." she said putting the shotgun on her back again.

"Hello son." said also the man that was Kouta's father. "It's not really my intention to make this sound out of place, but is your mother still alive in this universe?"

"Yes"

"Does she still has that weird mustache?"

"Nah... she shaves it now, but it regrows every now and then."

"Good to know. Did she remarried?"

"Well... she did, but the guy left her a while ago... I think she kept the house or something... She is single now, in case you are interested."

"I'll give her a call... there are still phones in this timeline, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Thank goodness, in ours the phones stopped working about four years ago. The diclonii killed all the electricians and phone managers, which was a tragedy, when they did the politicians everybody was kind of relieved, but still..."

"Oh. My. GOD!!! Is that Dragon Ball Z on the TV???!!!" screamed Kanae thrilled.

"Well, it's technically Dragon Ball Super now..." answered Kouta "the characters are the same but the story got kind of repetitive..."

"Shut up, and turn that thing up. Do you have any idea how I missed this show? How I missed Cable in general?"

"It's technically the internet now," corrected her Kouta "it's on Netflix, you can watch whatever program you want and whenever in there."

"Oh, my god. You live in the future. Hey Sanchez, thanks for this opportunity." said Kanae as she lay her body limp on the sofa while watching the TV.

"Hi. I'm Nana." said Nana to Kanae.

"I don't care." said Kanae to Nana.

For a second Nana did not know how to respond... but then again... she immediately jumped over her and embraced her without any warning. "You remind me of Miss Lucy before we would be friends! That must mean that we are going to be friends, right?!"

For a second Kanae did not know how to respond... but then again... she immediately tried to reach for the shotgun on her back, but Nana was hugging her with too much force and couldn't really get it, so after a while she simply stopped trying and said: "You are going to be a pest until I hug you back, right?"

Nana moved her head up and down with a smile from ear to ear. Kanae felt defeated and gave her the hug she wanted, and then Nana moved away and watched the TV alongside Kanae.

"So, is this good enough to have that sample of the antivirus?" asked Rick.

"Well... sure... Why not?" Kouta took one of the vials from Lucy's purse, being the usual abusive leech he was, and gave it to Rick.

"Awesome." said Rick as he took the vial "Hey Clef, Bright, I'm going to organize a party in my own microverse, wanna join?"

"Sure thing, when will it be?" answered Bright and Clef agreed.

"Well... I have to create the microverse, fill it with humans, release the infection, release the cure... Maybe three hours. Four tops."

"Count on us."

"Awesome." said Rick.

"Oh, Jeez" said Morty getting closer to Kanae. "Ahm... your name is Kanae, right? I'm... ahm... Morty, and..."

Kanae aimed the shotgun at his head "Not even in your dreams. Seriously, if I ever hear that you even fantasize about me, I will put a bullet in your skull."

"Jeez, chill out." said Morty and walked away.

"That's a shame..." she said. "If you would have shown any balls at all, I might have given you a chance. After all you seem kinda cute."

"Huh?" let Morty out from his mouth in a confused manner.

"Well *BURP* Morty, lets go, we have a party to get started." Rick gave directions to Bright and Clef on where to find him, opened a portal and dissapeared through it alongside Morty.

Epilogues for this timeline:

Rick, Bright and Clef had a great time in Rick's cat-ear-like-horned-girls-harem, and a drunk Clef had the not-so-brilliant-idea of inviting 'Abel' to the party. Abel, being the psychopath he was, started slaughtering everybody in there, and Clef had to nuke the city where they were in order to stop him. Rick later decided to abandon the idea of repairing or creating another harem like that, and threw the entire microverse to the garbage. Morty complained that it didn't seemed very ethical, and Rick reminded him that this entire chapter is just a joke.

Kouta made a bet with both Lucy and Yuka to prove that he was the unluckiest man on earth, and bought a power lotto. He won several millions of dollars, and the price he had to pay to each of them was that he had to convert to Mormonism and marry them both. Two weeks later they were pregnant... with twins... each... so he missed out on a lot of sex for several years after, proving that he truly was the unluckiest man on earth. At least he is not a leech anymore.

During an LSD trip (which was provided by the Hunger-Games-Kanae), a magical wish-granting dragon appeared in front of Nana and she wished that both Kurama and Mariko would be brought back to life, because she felt sorry for both of them. At the time she was watching an episode of Dragon Ball Z alongside Kanae, Arakawa, the silpelit TwentySix, and the SCP-239, and her wish was immediately granted, for some unexplained reason. Mariko tried to use her vectors to slash everybody in the room, but for some unexplained reason (thank you SCP-239 / silpelit 39), she had her vectors permanently blocked, and later learned to act as a normal person. Kurama, Nana, and Mariko went to live together in a house just next door to Kouta, and the rest.

Nana and Mariko found out that they had a talent and a liking for Black Metal, and later on they started their own Black Metal Band that would become world-famous called "Dismembered and Imprisoned".

Arakawa started her own Spa and Jacuzzi business that became a resounding success. Now she can relax while taking a long bath everyday. The silpelit TwentySix happily helped her to administrate it.

Mayu became a lawyer, and through a series of legal loopholes she found a way to legally kill her stepfather with an axe, and declare her mother mentally incapacitated and thrown in an asylum, and Mayu inherited absolutely everything the two had.

The Hunger-Games-Kanae decided to put her violence to good use and became a police officer. She still kicks major ass among the ranks today.

Kouta's alternative version of a father remarried his mother. He asked her to stop shaving the mustache she had because he kinda liked it...

The rest of the diclonii were shown the Star Wars saga and were convinced that the voice of the virus was "Emperor Palpatine trying to lure them into the Dark Side." Bright started his own academy of 'Diclonius-Jedi', and inadvertently created several Diclonius-Sith-Lords, but that proved to be very useful for the Foundation's purposes.

Bright did not took over Chief Kakuzawa's body, because he had a better idea (I told you we would talk about it) and had him thrown in the containment cell of SCP-682. SCP-682 was not amused by that, smelled chief Kakuzawa, and showed an unusual behaviour. Through the cameras he was seen taking a soap bar from a corner in his cell (nobody knows where he got it), threw it to the ground and told chief Kakuzawa: "Pick up the soap, bitch!". The feed was immediately cut off, and only one more thing was heard from the inside of the cell "Oh Shit! It Has SPIKES!". They are now a couple, but only SCP-682 seems satified by that.

The reader of this story has just realized how much wasted time he put while reading this, and will now stop procrastinating from the important things in his life and will put every minute of his effort in bettering himself and the world around him... maybe not.

THE END.


End file.
